i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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