The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize