In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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