Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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