he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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