Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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