I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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