I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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