Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize