OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize