I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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