i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize