I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
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She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
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It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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