Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize