I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
