And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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