Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize