I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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