It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
