I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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