I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
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I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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