Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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