No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize