You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize