is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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