TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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