Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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