you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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