You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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