Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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