Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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