dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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