I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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