See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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