singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
A bitchslap is in order.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize