Pappa wants mamma naked
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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