so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize