So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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