you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize