You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You're like the curious george of whores
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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