don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize