The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize