if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
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When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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