Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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