Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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