Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
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Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
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So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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