Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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