I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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