Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize