im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize